“Ultimately it is your thinking that drives your results, it is your thinking that creates your experiences in life” – The 12 Week Year
So many available books on the topic of thinking, self-talk, the voice in our head. I mentioned in last week’s blog that I have read two books recently with different approaches to that constantly chattering voice in our head.
Surrender as well as Untethered Soul has us learning to live with the voice. The author tells us that the voice has a psyche, feelings and emotions and that it will best serve us to learn to quiet this voice, not banish it or silence it, in fact we can’t get rid of it in it’s entirety. Our overall goal is to learn to live with it in peace, appreciate at a level, but not listen to or own what it has to say.
The Voice of Knowledge has us banishing that voice in a sense, telling that voice it lies and getting it to go away. The author talks of the peace we will have when we have silenced the voice in our heads for good.
I like the 2nd option, I however think it might take a heck of a lot more discipline and work to get the voice in my head to shut the hell up for good! I am trying both. Some days I try to get the voice to just be quiet. I am an over thinker and a obsessor, truly drives me crazy some days. I just want it to stop, stop going around and around about the same topic, over and over. Realistically, I don’t think at this point in my life I am evolved at the level necessary for the voice to permanently go away, maybe that is my problem, I don’t believe it will ever go away….
I believe in the manifestations that we bring into our lives by what we focus on and think. I went to a great Lunch and Learn last week about manifesting. She directed us to look at our lives, what do we have more of, abundance or lack, what do we spend our time thinking about, abundance or lack? I’ve got a lot of lack, have for a while, and I can see that lack has been my focus. Lack of money, lack of love, lack of peace, lack of worth.
We really have a lot of things going against us. We are prone to a negativity bias, one negative thing happens in our lives and it wipes out I think I read 10 positives. We have to fight our natural tendency to be negative to be able to even focus on positive, then for manifesting, we have to step it up, for me, about 10 notches. I will work to think ok, I have abundance, I easily pay all of my bills, I am so very grateful for all I have, ahhhh. Then I am unloading the dishwasher and all of the sudden I catch myself thinking, crap how am I going to pay next month’s rent, what am I going to do, I need to get a quick job, where should I go, I won’t be hired anyway, my skills aren’t fresh, my experience outdated, no one will hire me, no one wants me….wait, what, how’d I get here??
Along with the negativity bias, habit is how I get there. I habitually think negative, only recently have I started recognizing my thoughts and trying to change them, quiet them.
The chicken or the egg? Change our thoughts and our actions follow, change our actions and our thoughts follow….think it is a combination of both. Fake it until you make it but for pete’s sake DO something (talking to myself here).
Pivot and compassion. I am working to pivot my thinking when it is negative, my actions when I am procrastinating, I am trying to do both of these things with love and compassion for myself. I often tell my girls to stop being mean to my daughter, not meaning each other, but to themselves. I can’t speak for men, but I know as women, we are incredibly hard on ourselves, we can’t seem to give ourselves any credit. I will accomplish a task and instead of a pat on the back I will tell myself I should have done it sooner, better or different.
That’s where compassion comes in, love myself where I am at, love that I am trying to make positive changes in my life, love myself when I fail.
Might have said this last week…if nothing changes, nothing changes.
Be kind to yourselves!